Are You Worried Some People Have Achieved More than You?
Through our lives we are afforded a certain amount of hindsight that can help us adapt better to situations in the future. Learning from our experiences and being able to clearly see how we have grown and improved are key factors to being successful in life. Without this ability, it is unlikely that we would truly learn anything from our mistakes or our triumphs.
But this feature only works looking back, not forward. So maintaining perspective when you have seen what others have achieved in their lives can be difficult. Especially when you are young and only just getting started in life. This creates a great deal of jealousy in most, as they see what others their age have accomplished. It can make anyone a little green.
So, how do you overcome this? It is possible to let go of jealousy and stop comparing yourself to those who you feel have achieved more in their lives. Doing so will make you a happier, more healthy person. Not to mention it will allow you to focus more on achieving your own goals, without wasting time worrying about others.
Reevaluate the Meaning of Success
What makes one person successful does not necessarily make another feel that way. We measure success based on two factors: our own desires, and societies desires. Many of us have become so brainwashed by what we are told to want (high paying career, big house, new car, children, ect) that we fail to recognize what we want to achieve above all else. If having a large family is what you dream of, then focus on starting one. If having a fulfilling career is your heart’s desire, then let go of the rest and begin taking steps to get it. Don’t take on too much or feel like a failure because you didn’t get what others have. You probably don’t even want what they have, you have just been told you do. Only you can determine your level of accomplishment in life.
Look at Others Less Successful
While it isn’t a good idea to base your success on other people, you can still gain some perspective. Look at people who you feel have not measured up to what you have. Not to be scornful or even to build yourself up. Rather, to see that there will always be someone who has not done as much as you have. There is always someone who is lower on the ladder of life. This puts us all in the same place, as far as what we can achieve. How you (and those below you) climb to the top is a personal choice. Just because they have not gotten to the rung you have doesn’t make their lives meaningless. Nor does it make yours less important, just because you are below the ones who have pulled themselves closer to the roof.
Take Stock of How Life Has Improved
One of the most empowering things you can do is look at the ways that you are better off now than you were before. Most of us can see the positives in even the worse situations, if we try hard enough. For example, if you have recently moved out of your parent’s home and are struggling, there is a plus. Sure, you might not have dived right into an amazing life. But you took the step to go out on your own and make a life for yourself. Or, if you have not yet made it out of the family’s door, you have supportive loved ones who are allowing you to stay while you get your life together. So look at what steps you are taking every day that make life a little better than they were yesterday.
Remember That Things Will Get Better
Everyone has low points in their life. For some of us, those lows are so deep that it is hard to imagine how we came out of them. But whenever you have reached that point, remember how fleeting each moment truly is. Nothing is forever, and it will get better. Just because you are not as successful as someone else in any given subject, doesn’t mean you won’t be in the future. Every day is an opportunity to make something happen, even if it is moving the tiniest inch toward a better future.
Stop Blaming Others For Your Feelings
If you are jealous, it is because you are feeling that way. Not because someone created the emotion within you. By blaming others for their success, you fail to recognize your own feelings of inadequacy. Which makes it easier to ignore your responsibility for your own failings and the chance you have to improve yourself. No one else has the power to make you feel this way. It is up to you to find your success, whatever that might mean for you.
Focus On Goals, Not Wishes
It is easy to look at someone who has what we see as an incredible life and wish we could step into their shoes. But no one gets there overnight. Even the most successful people in life had to work hard to accomplish what they did. Which they managed by focusing on smaller goals, and achieving them one at a time. Don’t waste your thoughts on wishes and daydreams. Start setting those milestones that will get you there, and then work at it. This is more productive and realistic. Plus, you will see the progress you have made rather than how far you have to go. That is much more encouraging and inspiring.
Someone will always be better off than you, and more successful. Even the most respected members of civilization have to accept this to be true. But that doesn’t minimize who you are or your potential to be something more.
By measuring success to your own standards, being grateful for what you have and making goals to get somewhere different, you are taking control of your life. There is no better way to ward off jealousy, and to stop feeling as though the world has achieved more.